I’ve messed up in the past. The Bible says to be carnally minded is death…and that was my life. I was much concerned with by all foul means acquiring what I wanted. Back in High School, I really made a name. Back then I was living a dual lifestyle. My family saw me as their good, blameless, calm and quiet son, grandson, nephew and brother that have been with them since birth and loved. Being a staunch member of the children’s Sunday school, I played an instrument, represented our local church for Bible quizzes, etc.

But as a boarder on campus, I was the bad guy who never wanted to and felt like obeying even the simplest instruction. In our very first year I was a member of almost all Christian related associations including the Scripture Union on campus. Mom strongly warned me against bad company specifically with the scriptural references.

“Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character” 1 Cor 15:33 (Amplified Bible).

She also gave me a Bible to hold on to also with

“In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths” Proverbs 3:6 (Amplified Bible).

It’s so amazing how I quickly forgot about all that within my early days and actively partook in the demonstration against the administrative body which led to the suspension of the whole school for weeks. The police was called in to help when tempers heightened but it ended in exchange of bullets. Thank God there were no casualties since the police were using rubber bullets and the students fired warning shots. This that we did badly affected our academics. I was involved in virtually all bad things that would happen on campus some of which I mastermind but I kept them to myself.

Things got out of hand when I got into my final year. This cousin of mine got transferred into my school from another. We hadn’t got to know much of ourselves since we had not been that close until then. The only time that we saw ourselves was when our parents were visiting. I liked him very much though. Little did I know that he led a cult group on campus.  I got real close to him and was initiated. After my initiation, I learned to ‘act’ like them; drinking and smoking (marijuana). Those that knew me well on campus saw this drastic change in me and a junior who inquired to know of my change of life overtime approached me with the Gospel. I was gripped with fear of loosing my life on the judgment day but soon forgot about it when my cult members were being persistent and I helped them by not being able to think and decide for myself. Soon after my cousin died of a rare illness.

It was then that I had time to think; to ponder over how dedicated my cousin was. But after all our relentless effort of restoring his health, he still died. So I realized that if I should still follow them, I was going to end up like my cousin so I made up excuses and gradually backed out. Gradually I sought for prayers from a pastor who lived in our house thinking that God would not listen to me after all I’ve done but may forgive if a servant of His pleads on my behalf. I was very remorseful and after a prayer session I felt like a weight had been lifted of me. The pastor moved to another town and we lost contact.

It was around then when I had graduated from high school and while awaiting my results that I had an appointment with a private IT company. All this while, I was thinking that I was back on track. That I was again a Christian and that I would go to heaven when I die or when Christ comes. I thought that I had rejoined my church, befriend men of God, sent monies to church, played some roles in church, been reading the Bible, been using the Christian jargons like “Praise the Lord!”, been respectful and been born and bred in a Christian home. Despite the fact that I wanted to live the life of Christ and so asked a lot of people in the faith a lot of questions, I had very little time to myself. This god-fearing woman came my way one day and drew the line. She taught me how to have time for God. This she told me I’d never forget that “A busy train is never too busy to load fuel”. I had been struggling with pleasing God all this while but I recently discovered that my recreated human Spirit need to feed on the Word of God which birthed it in other to live.

“Blessed and happy and to be envied is the person of whose sin the Lord will take no account nor reckon it against him.” Romans 4:8 (Amplified Bible)

“So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free.” John 8:36 (Amplified Bible)

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